Thanks, Tessa. You have a point, but as in many cases of disagreement, the problem may be in our use of language. You say, "Whereas emotional intelligence means we respond empathetically to the emotions of others in order to control and manipulate them ... ", but "emotional intelligence" could equally well mean "ability to understand emotions, both of others and of onesself." I agree with you on the meaning of "emotional maturity", but I would argue that emotional maturity requires emotional intelligence. That is, I think emotional intelligence is necessary but not sufficient for emotional maturity. I disagree with you on the "in order to control and manipulate them" part.